its been an entire year since i last ventured to the computer contained shores of this little journal and if i even attempted to slightly sum up the events both amazing and tragic of the past year it would never relay the intensity properly to do my misadventures justice. i am in a predicament, as i always seem to be, and the outcome is so goddamn uncertain it hurts to lift the possibilities up onto the scale, let alone actually way them out. homelessness, drug addiction, companionship, betrayal, multiple arrests, dropped charges, the workforce, rehab, heartbreak, inspiration, scandals, and countless realizations about this world with all of its corruption, beauty, cruelty and love are just a tip of the mother fucking iceberg that was my nineteenth year. take a pen and write this down: "appreciation" that single word can be the root of such a brilliant perspective on litterally anything and everything if you can dig deep enough and feel it. fuck saying it, fuck writting it, fuck every preconcieved notion you might have about it and just feel it. truth is inside your own mind and no one can excavate all the layers of conditioning and fear, and confusion life has burried it in. you exclusively and only you can break those callouses weighing down your reality. dig deep kids, its worth the dirt under your pretty lil fingernails.