im not really sure how i feel about tommorow. eighteen was such afucked up year that i cant even imagine what nineteens going to be life. i did so much i thought i never would and lost so much. i dropped out of highschool to go to beauty school just to fuck up there and let my family down. i lost my virginity drunk as hell and ignored my morals id been so grouned in for so long. i got into the swing of a habit of avoiding sobriety as much as i can and paid the price more than a couple times. i almost died twice. i almost ruined my life. i crashed my car. i had the most meaningful four months of my life. i realized that what people say is never the full story. i had the hardest two breakups ive ever had all in one relationship. i got a taste of my own actions. i cried for the first times in years and more than i have since i was in like fifth grade. i met some amazing new people and made amazing new friends. i got rear ended on the freeway. i cant even imagine what this next time arounds going to be like. i can barely even convince myself that 18 was worth it as it is. so i guess at least i can go into this knowing i already lost what was most important to me. dont have to worry about that i guess.
i never imagined things would ever turn out this way.